Well I'm home and a little recovered from the race. I feel the need to jot down my experience to remind myself when things get tough, they can't really get any tougher than this!
I left San Diego Thursday AM feeling happy and excited and stress free. I was knowingly "undertrained" for this race due to taking time off to try and properly heal my knee and hammie / glute issues. But I decided that I would just do the race, not put any pressure on myself and really for the first time set no real time goal other than finish and have fun. As the Slowtwitch banterings started (
AmZof pre-race smack talk), I knew I was going to meet some amazing, nice and funny people so I made peace with myself for just going for the fun of it.
So back to Thursday.....I board the plane, we depart from the gate and then the pilot tells us a bird flew into the plane the night before and they had a mechanic on the way to check things out and clear us to take off. OK fine....this takes oh I don't know, about an hour. We get cleared and then we sit on the taxiway because we missed our opportunity to take off and now there are too many planes on approach (the joy of living in a city with an airport with only one runway). So we sit another, oh I don't know 30 minutes. Finally we take off and land in Chicago. I missed my connection (no surprise), but got re-booked on the next flight. Well, the next flight flew from Chicago to Indianaoplis to Baltimore (3 hour layover) to Albany. So, by the time I landed in Albany, got my suitcase, rented my car and drove to the hotel, it was 1 AM. Ok fine. The bad part of the trip is over. Let's get some sleep and start having fun TO-morrow.
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| view on the bike course |
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| me...at the ga-zeeee-bo |
Friday I head over to Catskill Mountain Multisport to see if they had my bike. I met John (infamous race director) and Don. They had the bike and everything was in order so Don said he would build it up for me and it would be ready in the AM. Yay! I knew right away after meeting John and Don this was going to be everything I wanted. A super awesome, low key, fun race....and really really really hard. Don printed out some course maps for me and I took off to drive the bike loop. My first reaction was this wasn't going to be too bad. There are definitely some challenging climbs, but overall it looked manageable. I found the park where the run course and start / finish is. I didn't venture into the woods to actually see the run course. I basically just took in the views and hung out at the gazebo for a bit. The views are spectacular. I had no idea what this part of the country looked like. Spectacular.
Finally I got hungry and ventured into town (New Paltz) and ate at this super cool cafe called Karma Road. The mneu was all organic and full of cool salads, wraps, smoothies, etc. I ate the kale / avocado salad feeling really good and relaxed and happy. Drove around a bit more and then back to the hotel to chill and sleep. Sometime in the night I woke up with stomach issues, but they didn't bother me 'til early Saturday morning...when all hell broke lose. No details need to be written. Let's just say the kale / avocado salad was doing everything it could to get out of my body. Doubled over in pain, I left a message for my friend Lee who was driving over from NYC to say "hi" and hang out for a bit. I told her I was sick, but to call me when she got here. I felt a little better when Lee arrived and we went to get my bike and then did a little exploring. I tried eating a little with some success but as the afternoon was approaching I felt like I wasn't getting much better.
I went to bed Saturday night not really knowing what to do. I was in a state of emotional turmoil. I called my mom and she told me to get some medicine and saltine crackers. "Mom" I said - "The nearest store is 20-30 minutes away. I can't get in the car and drive anywhere right now". 99% of the time I'm fine with doing things by myself. I enjoy traveling on my own. I can do whatever I want, see whatever I want to see. But I must admit, in this moment on Saturday night, all I really wanted was someone there to take care of me. But I digress. I didn't get much sleep Saturday night.....
Sunday morning I woke up completely confused. I was still feeling a little queasy, but I managed to eat a bagel with some peanut butter and my gear was already packed so I made the final decision to go to the race, get on the start line and just see what happens. The bike and second run are multiple loops so I told myself, if I needed to, I could bail at any time.
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| setting up |
When I arrived at the race, I saw Don who was super happy I showed up which in turn made me super happy. I met a couple of folks who were setting up near me in transition. Everyone was so nice and friendly and happy and not too stressed out. I felt a bit more calm. I chatted with a couple folks who racked their bikes near me and as it turned out we all (well, me + two others) worked in the construction industry. We were chatting about the 'effed up industry we work in....not anything about the race or gear or equipment or the weather or time goals or what races we've done or what races we're doing or how fast can you bike / run or any of the bullshit you usually hear in transition before a race. It was refreshing...
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| long course start |
The long course race started at 7:30....before the race, John gave us some final instructions. Which quite honestly I don't remember and then he played the National Anthem on the bagpipes, which was awesome, and then we were off.
1st Run - 5 miles (trail)
I had no idea what the run course was like so I was excited to venture into the unknown. 47 crazy people started the long course. I put myself at the rear of the pack. My only thought at this point was I wanted to keep a couple folks in my sites because I was deathly afraid of getting lost in the woods. I stayed with a couple folks during most of the run. The course was well marked so those worries faded. But when I wiped out (ahem - twice) on the FLAT section of the course I knew it was going to be a long day. The run course is amazing. The trail is awesome. The hills are impossible to run up. The downhills weren't bad (my knees were grateful for that). I finished the 1st run and headed out on the bike
Bike - 84 miles
I made my way out of the park on the gravel, taking it slow....if I wiped out on the flat part of the run course, the last thing I needed was to wipe out / crash on the bike. Once out of the park the steepest climb on the bike loop awaits you. So I made my way up and then settled in to the super fast and curvy downhill. More hills, some long climbs, awesome views, a few flat / fast sections and then short of two hours later I found myself at the start of the loop again. I told the volunteers at the aid station I'd catch them on the next loop. As I made my way up the steepest hill for the 2nd time, all I could think was, "how the shit am I going to get up this hill on the 3rd loop". Ah but never mind. I'm over it now and that's what counts. One moment at a time. I made my way around for the 2nd time. I checked my watch and I think I did the 2nd loop just under two hours so I was happy I was at least being consistent on the bike. But looming ahead of me was the "hill". I tried to break it down into sections. But the bottom line is, this is what was going through my head, "You've never gotten off your bike in a race before and I'll be damned if you're going to do it today". "C'mon legs!!!", "Are you f*cking kidding me", "Move! Move! Move!", "f*ck this shit", "oh look - a squirrel". "just get over this stupid f*cking hill...you can do whatever you want after that". At any rate - you get the idea. I made it over the top and collapsed into my aero bars and nearly passed out. I gathered myself and made my way around the final loop. Which I don't remember much of....but I made the turn back into the park and into transition. I racked my bike and said, "what the hell do I have to do now????"
2nd Run - 15 miles (trail - 3 loops of the 1st run)
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| run course arrows |
I stared out on the run and my stomach and legs let me know right off the bat that any thought of running was not going to happen. So I accepted that fact and mentally tried to prepare myself for a 15 mile power hike. During my first loop I met quite a few folks who were either on their 2nd or 3rd loop. They looked fresh and happy and were bounding along. It was hard not to get discouraged, but I gave them well wishes and good jobs because I needed their energy to keep me going. I made my way around the loop, stumbled into the gazebo and saw Don. He asked me how I was doing. I told him I wasn't doing so good...that I'm going to have to walk this entire course. I told him as long as you guys are still here and not tearing down the arrows, I'll keep going. He told me to keep going that he was super proud of me for being out there and that's pretty much all I needed to hear. The 2nd loop was a repeat of the 1st. I tried running a little, but it wasn't happening and I felt much better just doing a power hike. As I walked through the gazebo the 2nd time, I asked John if I had time to finish and he said I most certainly did so I headed back out. The 3rd loop was very serene. I don't think anyone else was on the course. It was still daylight out, but the animals and critters were much more vocal. I became much more aware of my surroundings. The trees, terrain and everything. I was washing away inner demons. I was going to finish this race. It would have been so easy to quit. It would have been so easy to say, well since I can't run, I might as well just give up. But once I started out on the 3rd loop there was nowhere to go but finish. As I made my way around, I kept telling myself, "how does it get any better than this"?
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| I was the only crazy F35-39 to do the race :) |
I approached the gazebo for the final time, John yelled out - 4th lap?! I probably would have gone out a 4th time...just for the hell of it. But the timing dude took my chip off and John gave me a huge beer stein and I was done.
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| on the pipes bringing in the final athlete |
Most of the post-race party and shenanigans were over, but I did talk with some folks who were lingering about. It was nice just to sit down and chat and share experiences. As it turns out, there was another gal who was finishing behind me and as she approached, John got back on the bagpipes to summon her to the finish. It's that kind of image that will stick with me and in my head. The crew that puts on this race really, truly care about the athletes. Here's another reason to do the race...
the live updates (I read this after the race - funny shit here!)
Before this race I decided to take some time off and not sign up for anything big for awhile. Finishing this race was the perfect ending to my first phase of triathlon life. I got into the sport to run away from a lot of things. I have met some truly amazing people the past few years, but I'm not sure I'm having any fun. So I'm going to try some new things and see what I like. The cool thing about living in SoCal is there are triathlons every weekend so I can always sign up for one on the fly if the urge hits me. I do know that I love riding so I see a lot of riding in my future. And I signed up for a stand-up-paddleboarding class. And joined some hiking groups. And cooking classes...and yoga...and volunteering...and wine tastings....and I still want a dog :)
Cheers to all and much love....just keep telling yourself, "how does it get any better than this?"
...because I woke up and felt like it! I know - such a simple thing. Why would you do something if you don't want to. It's not that for the past six years I've swam and rode and ran because I didn't want to....but I did those things mainly because I had to in order to achieve the goal I set out to achieve. Well this morning, I woke up and I felt like running so I ran. An easy 30 minute cruise down the street to the ocean and back. But it was awesome. I listened to the birds. I listened to the morning traffic. I listened to myself breathe. I don't know how fast I was running or how far I went and I don't care. I didn't log it in Training Peaks or any other training log. I just enjoyed the moment.
I've come a long way in the past year. With the help of some truly amazing people I've gone through some self discovery and acceptance. I'm learning to stop judging people and myself and just be aware. I'm learning what makes me happy, what my strengths and weaknesses are and that I'm not perfect and that's ok. My screen shot on my phone says, "I forgive myself. I don't get to be more perfect than anyone else. I am human". I have a more positive outlook on life, what I want to do, who fits in my life, who doesn't. I'm excited for the future and new experiences. And running because I want to...not because I have to.
