Tuesday, March 7, 2017

(non) ironman training

A few weeks ago (well, five weeks to be "exact"), I decided to start up ironman training once again. I didn't have a specific race in mind to sign up for.  Mostly I just wanted to get into training again to see if it would inspire me in some way or fashion.  Things started out pretty well.  I started having visions of toeing the line again and then started formulating a plan to just do my own damn race (can you say MER MAN!!) and map out a course where I live. Forget the entry fee, travel and hoopla - just swim and ride / run through the SoCal landscape.


I made it through week five and quite honestly have no desire to keep going.  Ironman training and "racing" (more like participating) definitely served a purpose in my life at the time I did it.  I met some fantastic people, had some amazing experiences and traveled to places I probably would have never traveled to. But at the end of the day (well, the end of this past five weeks anyway), I discovered it's not something I particularly want to do again. I absolutely don't mind the "pain" of training or the time required to do it. I just don't seem to enjoy it or get anything out of it anymore.


Which begs the question I've been asking myself for the past three years (or if I'm really honest with myself, the question I've been asking myself the past 15 years) - what is it I want to do with my time. What is it that gets me fired up and passionate.  I still don't know. I'm not sure I ever will. All I can do is keep trying to find it.
In the meantime...


 




Saturday, February 25, 2017

Garmin

When I read the news regarding the shooting at Garmin's Kansas office, my heart sank.  It sank a little deeper than it normally sinks every time I hear about gun violence and senseless deaths.  No one can say whether or not this incident would have happened independent of who was in the White House; I know the person that pulled the trigger is responsible for the shootings, but I can't help but blame the current President of the United States for what happened in Kansas.  Thanks to his tone, hateful speeches, exclusionary words, anger, constant complaining and overall bafoonery it helped give this lost and hurtful man an outlet to channel his anger.

I worked for a company and the gentleman in charge of our office was never there, seemingly didn't care about the employees, had a "I'm better then you" air about him and only let you in if you were part of the "good ole boys club".  The company saw a mass exodus of good employees in a short period of time (including myself) and during my exit interview the HR manager asked why I was leaving so I told her the truth on how I felt and what I observed.  She said she had heard similar things from the others she interviewed.  My point being, the success and growth of a company starts at the top and unfortunately America has a man full of hate and anger at the top right now and it's setting the tone for our country.

I'm not inherently a violent person, but every morning I wake up and want to shoot the fucking president in the head. I literally need to take time to calm myself down.  I find myself scrolling through my twitter feed not able to even read half the articles on Trump because it makes me so mad.  I believe there a lot of positive people in our country and people are coming together like never before to organize, stand up for what they believe in and speak out.  But, until the man at the top is removed, I can't honestly say that I'm sure things will get better. And I can't honestly say I'm sure our country can survive 4 years of this.